20.3.13

Carlotta | Pastor's Girl Ponderings Portraits

and the world's like a science
and i'm like a secret

lingering still - she&him
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I'm calling her bluff in the poker game of personal online portrayal.  If you've had the breath-easy bliss of reading the blog of Carlotta, you'd know a number of facts, and you may even come to quite a few educated guesses, about her. photo carlotta_blog_pastors_girls7of19.jpg
Thoughtful, deep, intoverted, esoteric, wide-eyed and poetic.  We come to her blog and find calm, everyday beauty.  Well-constructed sentences without many exclamation points or smiley faces.  The colors are neutral, the patterns are non-existent and the fonts are classic.  No hot pink and polka-dotted for this girl.  People ask if she ever has a bad day?! Because life appears so perfect!  Her mind seems as interesting and full of treats as her attic-like bedroom we love to see pictures of.  We probably imagine her waking up, with lips that smell like hyacinths and armpits that smell like bookstores, and starting the day by just staring out the window for a few minutes, blinking slowly and breathing silently.  With a handmade knit throw dripping off her bed, she probably lifts an original German leather notebook off her thrifted nightstand, flows down the stairs with perfect posture and creates prayers of sweet happiness in calligraphy, while eating curds and whey.
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Everyone.

She has us fooled.

Bravo, Carlotta, bravo!

When I drove up to the Tiev's household, the first thing I saw was the neighbors house.  Four little mangy-headed, bare-footed, beautiful small women, fumbling with a sign and screeching "GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! GIRL SCOUT COOKIES FOR SALE!"  I recognized a couple of their faces.  They waved and watched me park. "Is she buying some? I think she is.  Maybe." was written all over their smooth faces.  (I did buy some, by the way.)  Carlotta was standing across the street and ran to meet me.  She kind of tripped and we oddly hugged.  Her voice was much kid-d-ier than I thought it would be.
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Yes, she is just as stunning in person as she is online.  So.  Don't make yourself feel better about that.  She is just extraordinary.  Our day together began with a tour of the house, meeting her family, and seeing the new chickens.  Then she showed me all over Tulsa.  Her church.  Her favorite cafe.  A hotel Britney Spears and Lady GaGa stayed at.  Underground tunnels.  Gelatto.  The "hipster" area.

She got lost (nearly) constantly.  She left me in an elevator.  She took me through some parking garages (by mistake).  She dripped gelatto in her hair and washed her hands with my ice (I offered, for the record.)   She talked on and on about different projects she started on and never finished.  She got her skirt stuck in her barstool at lunch and chided herself playfully "WHY am I so awkward?!"  She talked and chatted and joked and zoned-out and goofed and skipped and slouched.  And I finally said "You are SO different than you seem online!"  She laughed, that beautiful, real, knowing laugh of hers.  She looked just like MiMi on the side of the road behind a picnic table full of primary colored cookie boxes.
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"Yeah, I know.  I really do have deep thoughts!  And I'm very careful about what I put online.  I don't know... I don't want to look back someday and be like 'Ew, gross!' or, like, have a potential boss find some crazy things about me on the internet.  Yeah.  I don't know.  My blog is me.  Like, a part of me.  I just have to sit down and write and think about it - I'm not like that all the time."
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Hear me out: she is educated, sickeningly discerning, very lovely - in word, action and thought, gentle, mysterious and quite well-rounded.
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However.  She is a ITSSOFLUFFYIAMGONNADIE goofball.  She has colorful stories to tell, and a cheesy sense of humor, and is sometimes "slow" to get sarcasm, and does a great money-walk... and tries to steal money (um. yeah.  Ask her about it ;).  She seems far older than her age.  In fact, all day I felt like she was older than me.  But she somehow pulls off "seeming older" with this weird little girl crazy.  Like, I would say "She seems like a 24 year old with a 10 year old's personality."  As opposed to "She is a very mature 17 year old, who seems more like she's going on 30."

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She carries herself with grace and gladness and giddy.  She isn't misrepresenting herself on her blog - that girl and that mind is very much a part of her.  The whole Anthro-come-to-life thing is there.  It's just not all.  And I for one found myself more amused than "philosophically inspired."  She is so much fun.  She's hilarious!  She's a ham!  She's truly great.  
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So, please, by all means.  Keep reading and loving her blog.  Keep being amazed at her ideas, taste, language and online journal.  And know that behind those posts, sitting behind a screen, somewhere in Tulsa, is a kooky, bilingual, chaos-and-calm, whippersnapper, doll of a girl, who is more herself than most adults you'd ever meet.
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You're a keeper, Carlotta.  Don't get used to hearing it: you're rare.  And brilliantly memorable.  Especially when it comes to driving directions ;)

29 comments:

  1. you're both pretty cool. ;) love this.

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  2. awww. these posts are just making me so happy! I love that girl. I love these photos. so wonderful (I JUST KEEP SAYING THAT CUZ IT'S TRUE) kristen. :)

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  3. i love the 2nd and 13th frames. so gorgeous. awesome pictures, kristen! and you are lovely, carlotta! :)

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  4. This is one of the cutest, sweetest, bestest posts I have EVER read! Seriously. And your photos are amazing! I kinda sorta really want to move to Oklahoma now. In the mean time, you should totally call if you're planning a road trip up to Ontario. ;)

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  5. She is way too cute. These pics are perfect, too. I wish I could meet her! and you. ;)

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  6. this makes me smile. so so sweet, and your words and photos are beautiful! she is STUNNING! :)

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  7. So adorable!! Carlotta, I want to meet you too! :)

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  8. These are so beautiful! Off to check out her blog!

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  9. awhh I love this girl.

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  10. beautiful, beautiful girl! and carlotta, i dreamed last night that i met you, and i was SO awkward. haha! :) keep being gorgeous and kind and wonderful and you.

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  11. Ok, I LOVED this. I appreciate what she puts online, because its always such a nice retreat. :) and that second photo... Amazing.

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  12. THIS POST MAKES ME HAPPY. carlotta seems like an absolute DOLL and is as gorgeous as heck. :) love these photos. mmmmm!

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  13. LOVE. captured her so well <3

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  14. i love carlotta and her blog. she's such a gifted young lady! and these portraits are so fun and filled with energy. and let's face it: she's just plain adorable! :D
    and kristen, i don't comment often (really, i'm quite a horror at commenting), but your blog is one of my *very* favorites. your writing is so raw and original, and your pictures, of course, speak for themselves. you seem like a really fun person! :) and hey, i don't know if you're still in oklahoma, but that's where i live. *cough cough* so. you know. if you've ever got an hour or so to kill... ;)

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  15. I love these Photographer summaries in your last couple posts! It helps me to know the blogger/photographers better since I can't actually meet them. Carlotta sounds wonderful, and she's beautiful. I love the pictures you got of her. They seem to capture what you defined her personality as. :)

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  16. i love these i love these i love these. SO beautiful! words and photos and CARLOTTA! gah. yes. love. love. k bye.

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  17. AH Carlotta is STUNNING. Beautifully stunning. And she sounds so lovely and fun! It seems there's always more to bloggers whether they want it to be that way or not. In fact, I'm glad there's more to people than what it first seems. Wouldn't it be so boring if everyone was exactly who they appear to be when you first meet them? I'm not talking about two-faced people, but about layered people. Mysterious people. People who you learn more and more about every single day you talk to them.

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  18. I LOVE THIS. One of the best posts I've read in a while. Carlotta seems to be such a beautiful fun person!

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  19. This is such a fun post! Carlotta is such a gorgeous girl. I love her blog and her posts.

    It was so fun reading about your adventures with her and how you describe her personality. I was laughing and smiling as I read your words. Your photos are SO AMAZING. LOVE everything about this post. :))

    Blessings!

    ~Madi

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  20. ahh I loved this. carlotta is SUCH a dear, and the way you describe her blog being a part of her but that she's also that crazy kooky person--love that. so true. these shots are amazing and carlotta, you are beyond gorgeous.

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  21. I swear, next time I get in those "is your life perfect?!?" situations, I'm just going to start directing people to this post ;) Love you Kristen!!

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  22. I love this, so adorable, and yet again, the way you let us in on her personality and pizaz is wonderful. Lovely work Kristen, and lovely girl. :)

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  23. Anonymous21.3.13

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  24. I am SO in love with this post. You've captured Carlotta perfectly!!! Woohoo to the cutest lady in Oklahoma!

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  25. Ah, she sounds like such a lovely person! Can we be best friends, Carlotta, please? Haha :)

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  26. LOVE this post! the pictures are AMAZING. and it sounds like you described her very well. her personality is so fun! sort of different from what i imagined, but she sounds awesome! :)

    -allison

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  27. i see her in a truly different light. (i think your photos help with that, by the way - the light IS stunning, as is she ;)
    this is why you need to come visit me.
    but first we should probably get to know each other.
    hi my name is jocelyn and i get way too ahead of myself.
    but seriously (and you know it's serious when i spell the actual word and not the abbreviation), this is beautiful, she is beautiful. and your gift for storytelling really shows us (and me specifically) the person we've been dying to know. some people have called her a sphinx and i guess i can understand why. and honestly, i've felt the things you've addressed about her blog-wise. but i think we all did it because in a way, we were jealous. and that jealously produced spite which had us whispering seamless tales of perfection about a person who we didn't see every part of.
    so yeah, thank you for showing the hidden parts, i suppose?
    i don't know.
    i just really like this.
    as in bookmarking it. (i bookmark, like, ALL your posts, by the way.)
    <3

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  28. This is so lovely, Carlotta is beautiful and I so want to meet her, so glad you two could meet up! :)

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Oh, you've made my day! Thank you for the thoughts and words!