Thoughts From a Single {part 4}

I'll end my Real Personal Super Deep and Genuine Posting About MenAndSingleNessAndStuff now. 
That's enough deep for the time being.

My final thoughts on this issue have to do with basketball.  

I've spent my whole life watching, learning, and playing basketball.

When I watch a legitimately great athlete play basketball,
(let's say during a March Madness Championship game,  or highschool championship, 
just to set the stage)  there are a few things that are clear:
- the goal (to win)
 - the preparation (the practice is obvious, the plays, the the organization, the roles... this is well rehearsed)
- the determination + dedication
- the element of self-sacrifice.

You watch those games and men will literally flatten themselves,
and break themselves, for the sake of the goal. 
For the good of the team. 
They'll do whatever it takes. 

No qualms, no queries, no "what if I take this charge and fall over and get hurt really bad?"
The risk is worth the reward, the possible pain is worth the possible prize. 
It's bulldog-like. 
Hungry, passionate, unrelenting drive.
Just TRY to stop them.  TRY to detour them from the goal.

Try to convince an athlete playing in the game of his life that winning this game doesn't matter.
That they should walk away from it. That the practice wasn't worth all this.

Do I need to rebound? I'll rebound.
Do I need to pass? Get this ball out of my hands.
Do I need to make a free-throw? I'll make a free-throw.
A 3? Get me the ball.
Do I need to pressure the ball? I'll pressure it so dang hard.
Do I need to sit on the bench and fetch water bottles? Bench me.
Tell me what to do and I'll do it.
And if you can't tell me, I'll figure it out.
And I'll do it.
End of story.

What's the goal I am talking about? The prize?
It's not a wife.
It's not securing a woman.
This basketball analogy is not "how I want a guy to date me."
It's how I want a guy to live.

"...forgetting what lies behind 
and straining forward to what lies ahead,
 I press on toward the goal for the prize 
of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

The prize is knowing Christ,
answering His call,
being a recipient of His love,
enjoying His goodness through and through.
That's the prize!

I have faith that there can be stronger, braver, more passionate Christian men in this world.
Daniel's and David's and Paul's and Timothy's and Shadrach, Mesach and Abendego's.

Men who love godliness and true beauty,
who aren't trying to get into bed with a girl,
nor find a replacement mother,
nor making a girl's attention and affection an idol,
nor who are too timid to take a risk,
nor who are too scared of the sacrifice of marriage that they would rather stay single.

I believe there are strong, brave men of God who need strong, brave women of God beside them.

Someday I'll meet an imperfect man, 
who will commit to imperfect me, 
and we'll have an imperfect love created by our Perfect King.

We'll live and laugh and hurt and love and eat and grow and wrinkle until one day,
we will be united with Love Himself.And our weak little image of love will disappear,
like a drop of water plopped into a river, because we will enjoy Love in it's vast fullness.

And in the presence of God we'll realize more then ever 
how He was the one who brought us to that day,
because of His courageous, selfless love for us.


  1. Wow, great analogy! I want a guy who believes that together we can serve God better. That no matter what comes, how we change, and the joys and tribulations, serving together will better glorify God and cause us to press on!

  2. I've loved this series Kristen - thank you so much for your encouraging words!

  3. i've looovved this series!!! you have inspired me so much.
    thank you!

  4. Anonymous9.7.11

    I like this so much! Especially the last bit: "Our weak little image of love will disappear."

    By the way, I don't know if you remember me, but I once linked you on my blog! (

  5. Loooove the series, girl!! =) especially this last post.

  6. Wow...this series is so beautiful. Thank you for being brave enough to post this!

  7. this series was amazing and this last post was the perfect way to top it off. your writing is so beautiful and transparent. and i think the world needs to hear these things so badly. i know for myself, i often get sucked up into the hollywood stereotype of what love is supposed to look like. and i look at my boyfriend and wonder why i don't feel like i'm in some nicholas sparks movie. but God has so much more for us than what's shown in Hollywood and you so perfectly encapsulated that in this series.

    thank you for sharing your heart with us; what you shared was powerful and relevant and i'm so glad you took that step to put it out there!

  8. A great challenge to the men! Thanks for sharing!

  9. A great challenge to the men! Well done. :)

  10. Kristen, I came across your blog kind of randomly, but this series is awesome! Puts words to a lot of the thoughts/conversations I have with single friends. Conclusion of the matter; Don't look for the right person, focus on becoming the right person. Blessings!


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