Thoughts From a Single {part 3}

"I went looking,
I wrote out a list,
I drew an image.

I bled a poem of you.
You were pretty.
You were clever.
But you see,
I did not love you,
I loved me.

You were a tool I used 
to fix myself,
to fool myself,
to redeem myself.

You have slid up warmly to the man I wanted to be,
the man I pretended to be,
and I was your Jesus,
and you were mine.

I am scared of me.
But I want to be known and loved anyway.
Can you do this?

Is this God's way of teaching us the labyrinth of His love for us?
I will love you like God,
because of God,
mighted by the power of God.

I will stop expecting your love,
demanding your love,
trading for your love,
gaming for your love.

I will simply love.

I am giving myself to you,
and tomorrow I will do it again.

I suppose the clock will wear thin its time
before I am ended at this altar of 
dying and dying again.

I will risk myself on you.
And together,
we will learn to love."
Key words here:
Love like God,
because of God,
mighted by God.

Brave because of God, mighted by God.
Confident in God, because of God.
Servant like God, mighted by God.

It's all about God.
It's all a reflection of His love for His people.
It's all for His glory.
It's not always romantic and lovely.
Sometimes it's romantic and lovely.
It's not always hard and draining.
Sometimes it's hard and draining.

Our God spans from heaven's lovely to the cross' gory.
And marriage and men and women and love get to join in all of that.
To God be the glory!

It's a good thing to know and fully believe a man will never be your Savior.
Man is messed-UP.
Yet there is more grace.
So it's also a good thing to require a man to be a man.

(Remember: being a man is not being perfect.)

It's good for a woman to not settle.
I don't mean "I always wanted a brunette and now I'm settling with a blonde."
I mean it's good for a woman to require manliness,
not babyness,
not little-boy-ness,
not dream-hunk-from-my-dream-ness,
but manliness.

Require a man to be brave.
However because he is, after all, just a man,
encourage him to be brave.
Point out his potential.
Build him up!

Just don't settle.
Don't settle for butterflies.
Don't settle for someone to touch you.
Don't settle for company.
For "not being the only single one."
Wait for love.

Brave, selfless love.
You know when a man is being a coward.
At least I do... now.
In return I would feel guilty, make excuses for him,
 try to fix it myself, make it easy for him.
I would do what he needed to do
because I wanted to attention and potential security and relationship.

I've learned to not fool myself.
It's not worth it.
The most helpful thing I can do is require a man be a man.
Be "hard to get" not in the game-playing sort of way,
rather in the diamond sort of way.

Quality, persistence, effort, value.
I want to be like the peak of a mountain,
not the base.
"It's wonderful up here, but you will have to hike, sir.
And maybe sweat.
And maybe breathe heavy.
And it might not be a smooth breezy path.
I'm okay with that.
Figuring out how to climb will make you a man."

Encourage, but not flatter.
Have high standards and actually hold to them when push comes to shove.
Love character more then attention.
Laugh and live and serve and walk away from little boys by being a woman.
Don't wait for perfection,
wait for a man.

I keep playing your part
But it's not my scene
Won't this plot not twist?
I've had enough mystery.

I'd wondered why'd it taken me so long
But Lord knows that I'm not you
And If I was I wouldn't be so cruel
Cause waiting on love ain't so easy to do
jack johnson | sitting waiting wishing

It's just a worth it thing to do.

(to be continued a teensy bit more)


  1. God has taught you some very powerful principles lately. so many thing I agreed with in this post "point out his potential" and 'Love character more than attention." And my favorite "Don't wait for perfection, wait for a man." Profound. :)

  2. "Don't just settle." While its easy to do in the long run its horrible!
    "Require a man to be brave." I've haven't really thought about it in that way but I completely agree. Good food for thought!

  3. I needed this reminder. Sometimes life gets complicated and I lose focus and I need a reminder. Thank you for sharing this!

  4. i really needed this...i hadnt checked ur blog in a while, but randomly decided to today... i recently gave someone an honest reason why i dont want to date: i need to focus on me-God's not done with me yet. reading this helped a ton, and will help in the future thank you!

  5. Sarah12.3.12

    I stumbled across this today and really needed to hear these words.


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