7.4.11

I Love + I Look {Personal}

I was a little girl alone in my little world 
Who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees, 
And fed my houseguests bark and leaves
priscilla ahn | dream
--
One sunny California day about 12 years ago,
I sat in the back of the family station-wagon,
"finishing" my math homework.
My parents were taking us to Disneyland for the day.

I remember very clearly having this back and forth "conversation" in my head with myself.
"I like that I'm going to Disneyland and I'm just a kid,
buuuut I am gonna be really glad when I'm done with school."

I started thinking of things I really loved right now,
but also thought of things I looked forward to in the future.
That car ride came to mind the other day.
Lots of things I wondered about back then have happened!
It's so fun!
So I decided to play to the "I love now-I look forward to later" game again :D

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I love that I have so much freedom to baby-sit and enjoy other families these days.  See all the babies in the frames?  It's so much fun, it's so entertaining and I can't imagine my world without little people.
I look forward to being able to put the faces of my own little babes in those frames.  And spend time e-mailing looking for babysitters.  And then come home to find out from the babysitter that my kids broke the frames and ate the newspaper.  Or something?
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I love being able to decorate a single girl's home.  I love that one morning when I wake up I can decide to rearrange the whole living room.  Just on a whim! New pillows? Whyyyy not!
I look forward to decorating a home for a family - that probably won't include a glass coffee table. 
But it'll be a fun challenge to kid-proof a house that a man wants to come home to that I like to look at. Hmmm.
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I el-oh-vee-ee LOVE having friends over for dinner.  Even if it's just heating up leftovers, I love that people can come eat dinner, talk about their day and kick back at my house.
I look forward to being able to make my hard-workin' boy meals.  So that after a long day he can come home eat dinner, talk about his day and kick back at our house.

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 I love that if I'm out, I get to come back to my home.  I can be out as late as I want, I have no one to report to, and I don't have to be quiet so I won't wake anyone up. I love walking in here at the end of the night.
I look forward to the day when someone is here waiting for me. 
And he will lock up, and turn off the lights, and sleep on the side by the door in case someone breaks in.
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I love learning more about fashion, being creative with my outfits and brainstorming options.
I look forward to kicking myself in the butt for wearing mom-jeans that I swore I'd NEVER wear.  Come on, every mom goes through that stage at some point, right? ;)
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I LOVE that my bathroom is MINE.  I have a bathroom "thing."  It's like my nest.  And it's pink.
I can light my mandarin orange candle, keep my matching yellow razors in the tub and take as long as I want to get ready. 
I'm looking forward to days when three quiet minutes in a bathroom with kiddie-toys in the tub, 
pee-stains from the newly potty-trained, and no toilet paper is a blissful haven.
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  I love that whatever happens in my house, happens because of me.  In the good ways - what is cleaned up, what is organized and what is personal.  But also the bad ways ;)  When I make messes, when I lose things, when I break things... it's alllll my fault haha But I love it because it's helping me become much more responsible.
I'm looking forward to other people living with me.  Growing up in a house of nine people, I loved the chaotic "Who moved my purse?!" as well as the blessing of someone else emptying the dishwasher for me every day. 
Photobucket I love that I've managed to put EVERYthing in my house together + hang EVERYthing on the walls
with just these "tools" (plus a borrowed drill haha).  Yup. That's my tool box.  And my Creative Memories hammer.
I look forward to having a garage or shed or even just a normal tool box with real man tools in them.
I bet you my frames will stay up better in the future.
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I love that my schedule is about me.  That might sound selfish, but it's true.  There is only one persons schedule on my calendar! My shoots, my meetings, my travel days, my dinners.  Not gonna lie, it's fun!
I look forward to filling my life with other people's schedules.  Color-coding the good ol' iCal for date night and soccer practice and doctor's appointments.  My "me" time will probably be scheduling when to grocery shop.  Or when to vacuum the car. Woop it up.Photobucket
I love sitting on my porch, watching the families walk by.
I look forward to being in my own family walking by.
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I love walking down across the street for pedicure when I feel like it,
just because I have a free afternoon.
I look forward to spending free afternoon's painting my little girls toes.
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I love the stillness, the peace, the quiet, the time I have these days.  I have been able to read, pray and focus more then I ever have in my life.  It's been lovely.
I look forward to being able to bring to mind what I'm learning now, especially on days where I won't have a quiet moment to stop and slow down.  I'm learning to store + treasure up the current times so I can use them in future times!
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I love my ridiculous and feminine zebra rug.
I look forward to taking my kids to see zebras at the zoo.
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I love going a whole day putting NO make-up on, not showering and possibly being a little smelly.
I look forward to the day when I'll know I really should freshen up cause my man is coming home.
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I love that my carpets don't have stains on them.
I look forward to carpets being ruined by stains.  I hope there are some good stories to tell!
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I love dreaming about the future, imagining what my life could be like 12 years from now.
I look forward to dreaming about what my life could be like 12 years from 12 years from now.
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I love this life God has given me right now, and I wouldn't change a single thing for this time.
But I look forward to the future. I really do.
 
Come what may!

19 comments:

  1. :) :) :) :D I pray that God would send you a "spiritual hunk", Kristen ;).

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  2. This makes me SO EXCITED about coming. :) Your house is so cute. It's just what I want when I live by myself, IF I live by myself. :D

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  4. Beautiful and amen!!

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  5. I'm echoing Rachel's words -- praying you'll have your own "spiritual hunk" someday, and some darling kiddos! ;)

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  6. Haha, that video was hilarious though. ;) But really, LOVED this post! :)

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  7. I loved this post - I appreciate how you are grateful for what you have now and are also looking forward to the future. That is a wonderful way to think rather than always being future focused and not seeing what is right in front of you.

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  8. ahh love this post! your apartment is the cutest ever. :D

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  9. you are adorable! i hope God sends you everything you're hoping for! :)

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  10. Right there with you my friend......:)
    Except I'm one step ahead cause I have the hubby hahaha......all in God's good timing :)

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  11. um. I may just come hi-jack your appartment. ;)

    that...or hire you to help me decorate when I have my own place...someday in the future, of course!

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  12. I like the interior design of your apartment - I'd say it's definitely a fashionista's home. :)

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  13. i love this post! you have the coolest apartment!!! i love dreaming too :)

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  14. I love this post. First of all, your apartment is super cute, wish I had as good of taste! Secondly, everything in your "looking forward to" rings so, so true! It's so funny how going to the bathroom is a break for me these days haha! Or how I can't wait to be able to paint Evelyn's toes...she is nearly two but would most certainly not be patient enough to let it dry:) Love it. Such good words.

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  15. Sooo...you did it. You finally got me to comment on one of your posts. I have been a silent reader for the past, oh maybe two years? but either have been too busy to comment or just enjoyed being a secret follower :-) (I'm not a stalker, I promise!) But anyway, I just had to let you know what a beautiful post this was!! I have seen SO many females (myself included, at times) who were so caught up in living in the future that they missed out on life's many blessings that were right in front of them. What an encouragement to see someone who is living for today with hope for tomorrow! I love your photography, your blog, your personality, your awesome apartment, and your love for God! Blessings to you, sister!

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  16. I love this post a lot :) I'm a few years behind you, but I can definitely relate.

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  17. Such an awesome post and beautiful perspective on life!

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  18. I love this post! It's so great. I think about things like this in my life and dream about the future all of the time.
    P.S. Your house is gorgeous!

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Oh, you've made my day! Thank you for the thoughts and words!